Goldihops and the Three Beers
Ah, there really is no other season like it – double entendres flying in every direction, glitter spewing out of every orifice and enough family friendly cross-dressing to keep the kids entertained 'til June.
We are, of course, talking about panto season and as Widow Twankies of all persuasions take to the stage across the country we couldn't help but get into the spirit of pantomime too.
Naturally, we've decided to put something of a beer themed spin on things which is why we ask you – ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls – to take your seats and introduce you to the cast of the BrewDog Christmas panto 2010: Goldihops and the Three Beers.
Playing the role of Goldihops we have...
Trashy Blonde – With hops a-golden, you might think that ol' Trashy was made for this role. There's also the small issue of breaking and entering, eating someone else's porridge, crashing out in a stranger's bed – you know how the story goes – and, let's face it, you'd have to be pretty trashy to fit that remit.
Playing the role of the Big, Bad Wolf we have...
The End of History - Sometimes the Scottish drinks industry feels like a pantomime and if there's one crowd that's booing the loudest it's the Portman Group. Naturally, our 55% ABV blond Belgian ale got the biggest boo of all which proved something of a baptism of fire for the role of the Big Bad Wolf. We're also open to creating some wolf-themed packaging / costuming but we're not sure where endangered species would sit with people who lost sleep over road kill.
Playing the role of Baby Beer we have...
Nanny State – Ah, sweet little, unassuming baby beer. What's needed for this character is a beer to match and what better than our inoffensive 1.1% mild imperial Nanny State. Perfect for those who lack self control, there really isn't a safer option to fawn over...that is, until you remember that Baby Beer is actually an adolescent brown bear who probably weighs in the region of 150kg and could tear you a new one given half the chance. Nanny State shouldn't be underestimated either as the assault this amplified low ABV beer can inflict on the taste buds isn't something easily forgotten.
What are your panto/beer/character suggestions?
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