A Very BrewDog Anti-Valentine's
Five things to while away the 14th...
Ah, tis the season of the oversized Clinton's card, the garage forecourt bouquet and – if you shop in Sainsbury's – some limited edition heart-shaped cucumber. We are, of course, talking about Valentine's, the one day of the year where you can profess your love via the medium of a garish, two stone teddy bear and still get laid.
So as the UK's singleton population gear up for the horrors of amplified loneliness and another tear-stained microwave meal for one, we thought it only right to put together a hit list of Anti-Valentine's activities while the world goes temporarily mad.
5. Get Social
For many people fresh out of a relationship, the lure of the dating scene is nothing in comparison to that of a darkened room, a vat of raspberry ripple and a good old dose of bittersweet Facebook stalking. So while you trawl the interweb admiring picture after picture of your ex and their wonderful new partner, why not indulge in your own share of social media one-upmanship with a status update? We suggest 'Just gone home with 4 trashy blondes...' which perfectly straddles the line between too vague and too saucy, without telling a porkie.
4. Get Inked
What's worse than having your own name etched onto a body part? Having someone else's name – who you are no longer with – etched onto a body part! Getting the name of an ex scrawled onto your arm, chest, back or forehead might've seemed like a romantic gesture at the time but permanent inkage is almost more of a commitment than the sanctity of marriage which means the clean up job involves a little more than signing on the dotted line. BrewDog have come up with the perfect solution however – a BrewDog tattoo – the ideal cover-up and perhaps something of a meal ticket for the odd free beer at our bars.
3. Get Brewing
S-called 'relationship councillors' on the telebox have long championed getting off your backside and doing something productive as a means of positively channeling negative emotion. That's all fine and dandy but if you're going to make the effort to struggle out of a cesspit of empty pizza boxes and unwashed underwear then it might as well be for something worthwhile; not like yoga, or pottery or mowing an elderly neighbour's lawn. We think that brewing is about as positive as it gets so why not get your mitts on our Beer School guide and channel all your emotions into a nice hoppy brew instead?
2. Get Out
With loved up couples preoccupied with confining themselves to bedrooms and tables for two, there's never been a better time to get yourself out and about without the threat of public displays of affection looming at every corner. Alternatively, pay a visit to BrewDog Aberdeen where public displays of affection are strictly forbidden along with clowns and the ghost of Orville the duck.
1. Get Smashing
A positive mental attitude is one thing but when it comes to Valentine's Day sometimes you just have to unleash the rage and what better than taking out your anger on a six pack of crap, generic beers? At BrewDog we've honed our technique smashing mainstream lagers with baseball bats, golf clubs and even the odd bowling ball. Not recommended for indoor use but definitely recommended for putting the world to right.
Happy Anti-Valentine's Day!
- Couldn't agree more! The whole Valentines day convention is no more than sheer unadulterated commercialism! What's worse are the penalties for non-compliance.
The whole things flawed. I could really go a trashy blonde as it goes...Gizzard Puke15.02.2011
- Wish you'd linked the brewing guide and the "get smashing" hingmy! From one teuchter to some others, it would have been nice and helped pass linkjuice as well as hopjuice :) Andrew Burnett15.02.2011
- I've always been very anti-valentines day, but being that I just broke up with someone, this one has been a bit worse. That said, this is my way a sharing some love. If you're having a really bad valentine's day and need a laugh check out this article. I've read it 4 times today and still cracks me up. http://foodiegossip.blogspot.com/2011/02/anti-valentines-day-food-avoid-sex-by.html Rachel Price15.02.2011
- We are releasing it soon Tom. James, BrewDog14.02.2011
- I'm spending Valentines Day with the one I love the most.
- Where can i find this beer school guide? This is the first i've heard of this. As an amateur homebrewer i would be very grateful to have a guide by my favourite brewery! Tom Archer14.02.2011