Welcome to the BrewDolympics
The Olympics like you've never seen them before...
We're not sure if you've heard, but the Olympics, that's right, the actual Olympics, are coming to London. I know, we hadn't heard either! Sadly it's too late for Martin and Bracken to put themselves forward for synchronised swimming but it's OK because we only felt it right to create our very own BrewDog inspired Olympic Games while the rest of the world goes a little bit London 2012 mental.
Cue these 'brewdolympic' sports and let us know why you deserve a place on the BrewDog team:
Drive-by tattooing: If you're familiar with BrewDog then you're more than likely to have set eyes on a BrewDog tattoo. More gain, less pain, these that's allow you to 'transfer' your love of craft beer to any body part, or a friend, or your nan or even a stranger. Drive-by tattooing is just that - a sport that involves branding up unwitting members of the general public as quickly and covertly as possible. Wit, brass neck and a moistened flannel are your friends when it comes to this sport...and possibly a knack for making a swift exit.
Keg Roll: One keg. One hill. Sounds simple right? Wrong. This Brewdolympic sport involves participants racing or rolling a keg down a track lined with diehard lager luddites whose rabid fury is only stoked by the very idea of brewing beer in a non-traditional sense. The aim of the game - to reach the bottom of the hill with an empty keg having convinced enough diehards to convert to craft.
Extreme Fancy dress: We like dressing up - lederhosen, sailor suits, friendly animals from the forest, you name it, we'll wear it. Lots of us are good at fancy dress but few of us have the tenacity for extreme fancy dress. We're talking about creating horrendously awkward and unexpected moments - wearing a school uniform to your child's parents' night or your grim reaper get-up when you volunteer to drive the bus for the local old folk’s home. Basically, higher volume of shock equals more points.
Malt Sack Race: It's nice to save the planet, especially when saving the planet involves finding an excuse to keep all the malt bags that contributed to some awesomely tasty beers. What's more, we’re in agreement that sports day still beats the Olympics paws down – when else are eggs, spoons and a little casual bondage considered integral pieces of sporting equipment? Needless to say, malt bag race harks back to a simpler time and allows you to relieve the glory days of the sack race with a beery twist whilst doing your bit for recycling.
Speed taxidermy: Being fast on your feet is essential for most sports but the need for speed is taken to a whole new level when it comes to speed taxidermy. With road kill at the ready, athletes must create an Olympics-inspired taxidermy as quickly as possible. We’re thinking shorts on squirrels and headbands on hedgehogs…we’re also thinking that this is quite possibly the last sport the real Olympics would ever consider.
On your marks, get set, go! Keep an eye on your local BrewDog bar for more BrewDolympic events popping up near you.
- I hear Biker Hockey is big as well? http://www.youtube.com/user/bikerhockey/videos/ Metal + Beer16.07.2012
- Dan has to wear those shorts in the bar. It must be a law of some sort. Badger16.07.2012
- That last photo has caused my eyeballs to explode. Yvan14.07.2012
- beer mat archery! hold the beer mat between two fingers and flick/throw it at targets! mikeabz12314.07.2012
- Awesome blog! I want to be on the BrewDog Olympic team. Pick me! Pick me! Lulu14.07.2012
- Surely the Brewdolympics needs a Hops, skip and jump event? neilrock14.07.2012
- XD Sielulintu14.07.2012