SIMCOE’S CHRISTMAS BALL FOR 2016

Our canine soothsayer looks ahead…

SIMCOE’S CHRISTMAS BALL FOR 2016

You can find out more about investing in BrewDog at www.brewdog.com/equityforpunks

As the number of remaining days in the year dips into single figures, tradition calls for us to dial up our four-legged oracle. Simcoe has been making the usual last-week-of-December changes to his kennel in preparation, as our brewhouse team have noticed via the tell-tale signs of paw prints in the hop store. Simcoe’s den has been decorated with his favourite resinous garlands – and nestling right in the middle, for all to gaze into – his crystal ball!

But when our sage peers inside, what will he see for BrewDog in 2016?

Exploration in Distillation

The first thing Simcoe sees puzzles him. A metallic cylinder, piercing the ceiling of the brewery. With valves, levers and portholes it looks like a Saxophone turned into a chimney. But what can it mean? As his doggy brow furrows, something distils in his vision. It’s Martin, wild-haired and crazed of eye, welding a vessel to blend whisky with Punk IPA. As lightning flashes, Simcoe’s retinas are seared with a whisky beer crossover – Desperadog?

Ultimate Fighting Cicerone

The next image Simcoe sees looks like a film poster, pasted to the brewhouse wall; ‘Two Masters Enter. One Master Leaves.’ Although he already has a Master, he realises it relates to the Cicerone scheme, as they add another level in 2016. Europe isn’t big enough for two Master Cicerones, so it’s hop cannons on stun as the hottest new mixed martial art breaks cover in 2016 – James and Rob battle it out in the hopcage for UFC (Ultimate Fighting Cicerone) glory. Who will win?

Born to Run

A bald eagle. A statue of a woman clutching a torch. The Stars and Stripes. “Japan!” he barks (Simcoe’s geography being limited only to where he goes on walkies). After pawing at his doggy globe, the realisation dawns that BrewDog are headed to America. The next thing from his mouth is a growl of excitement as he hunts for his puppy passport – Simcoe has always wanted to run with wolves across the American plains! They do have wolves in Ohio, don’t they?

Clay Presto

Next on the viewfinder – it’s Martin again. What on earth is he up to this time? Sitting behind a whirling mound of clay, he’s feverishly working it into a series of stemmed tasting goblets. Either pewter has become the trend for drinking vessels in 2016, or maybe Martin has been spurred on by the success of Business for Punks, to finally write his own magnum opus – a book that would reduce even the harshest ceramics judge to tears – Pottery for Punks.

Have Beer Will Travel

As the crystal ball flashes up 3…2…1… Simcoe lets out a canine groan and reaches once again for his well-pawed atlas. Knowing all too well that it means a quick-woofed Geography quiz, his eyes focus on a number of rapidly flashing scenes. A yellow canary. Lots of people on bicycles. A castle. Craig David. A mist-shrouded Minster. A bowl of sweet and sour. And Currywurst! It all makes him very confused. And hungry.

Sour Power

Dog noses are forty times more sensitive than humans, and Simcoe’s has of course been honed further by years of exposure to hop oils. So the next preview item makes him crinkle his olfactory pipes with fascination. Quite unlike any aroma he has detected from BrewDog before, his nostrils are filled with a tart, tangy bouquet emanating from a building he has yet to set paws in. What manner of beer is this? Simcoe is intrigued…

…but only until the image disappears and the Christmas ball reverts to a simple glass orb once again. With thoughts of sour beer gone, our soothsaying pup turns around and wanders back to his kennel, gently nudging the crystal sphere before him as he goes. What will become of its bold predictions? Only time…will tell…

You can find out more about investing in BrewDog at www.brewdog.com/equityforpunks

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Comments (6)

Scoot 02.01.2016 @ 4:04pm
Pottery has spiked the wife's interest. Need more info thanks.
Nash 29.12.2015 @ 4:38pm
Thankyou. I doubt it'll be this soon but would be great if these were first on agenda, hard to beat a sour in the heat of summer
BrewDog Rich 29.12.2015 @ 2:31pm
Nash - we'll keep you posted, don't worry! :)
Nash 29.12.2015 @ 1:38pm
How long until the first of the sours are expected to be on sale? Exciting stuff!
Nat 29.12.2015 @ 12:26pm
+1 for the sours
Felix 29.12.2015 @ 11:54am
Brewdog sours need to happen