AN OPEN LETTER TO DONALD TRUMP

A gift for him, and the free world…

AN OPEN LETTER TO DONALD TRUMP

You can find out more about investing in BrewDog at www.brewdog.com/equityforpunks

Seasons Greetings, Mr Trump.

My name is James Watt, co-founder of BrewDog, the fastest growing craft brewery in the United Kingdom (it’s the one on right-hand side of the Atlantic, where we all have tea with the Queen).

Anyway, to help BrewDog grow, back in the day we pioneered a revolutionary crowdfunding scheme called Equity For Punks, whereby beer fans from all over the world were granted the ability to invest in our company.

So far, over 35,000 of them have helped us take on bland, industrial beer – I imagine you may be familiar with that – and we now ship to 56 countries, employ more than 400 people, and operate amazing BrewDog craft beer bars on four continents (there are seven in total, Donald).

If you’re reading this and liking it so far, then I’ve got some great news.

You are our newest Equity Punk.

You see Donald, although I admire people in the world of business who are uncompromising in their ambition, all this Presidential stuff is nonsensical. To quote a great countryman of yours – you cannot be serious?

Building a massive wall to keep everyone out? Opposing same sex marriage? Insulting the disabled? Calling immigrants criminals and rapists?!

Your ideas are as misplaced as your hair, sir.

So you may well be wondering how – and why – you are our newest Equity Punk. The first of those is easy. We have made it simpler than ever to give the gift of BrewDog shares at Christmas.

You do believe in Christmas, don’t you – sitting there at the top of your Tower, which is probably not at all compensating for something?

You see, Christmas is a time for peace and goodwill to your fellow man. I am making the gift of two Equity for Punks shares to you with a single aim in mind – that it will spark a desire in you to get back into business (locking yourself in your office, if necessary).

In turn hopefully you will give a gift to the rest of humanity – that you will stop trying to become leader of the free world. Please. Then we can all get on with our lives in that world filled with life, liberty and the pursuit of hoppiness. 

Merry Christmas,

James

x

You can find out more about investing in BrewDog at www.brewdog.com/equityforpunks

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Comments (35)

Alasdair McDonakd 12.12.2015 @ 6:18pm
Despicable fud.
You should make a 'Hello my name is Donald' and donate the profits to a refugee charity. (make it to the exact same recipe as Vlad, because that was perfection).
anonymous 10.12.2015 @ 3:00pm
That's the ultimate sacrifice for the good of my country! Bless you.
LRB 10.12.2015 @ 1:29pm
It would have to be a Bavarian style beer, right? All bitter and too foamy on top.
Finlay J 09.12.2015 @ 10:42pm
In case he decides to grace us with his company (assuming he's still allowed into the country) can we have 'Donald's corner' please. Nothing fancy, a single chair facing a corner with a pointy hat, we could go all-out and stick a 'D' on it, for Donald, clearly.
GKT 09.12.2015 @ 8:04pm
Trump is a dangerous moronic imbecile.
Bill 09.12.2015 @ 5:52pm
Advice for Donald… Duck.
Bill 09.12.2015 @ 5:49pm
Just to be clear, I agree with James, and not Dan T(wat)

check this out:

https://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/donald-j-trump-revoke-rgu-degree?bucket=blast
Trevor Spencer 09.12.2015 @ 3:55pm
As a proud bald man he offends me before we even start on anything else. The man lies to himself in front of the mirror everyday. A psychopath and a hello my name is Donald a golden boroque beer would be a laugh .
DaveN 09.12.2015 @ 3:10pm
Awesome, fantastic. The guys a numpty!
Dan T 09.12.2015 @ 3:04pm
For once Donalds said something sensible .
Bill 09.12.2015 @ 2:36pm
Excellent, you took the words right out of my mouth
'murka 09.12.2015 @ 2:08pm
Don't you know that you can't stump the Trump?
Jon 09.12.2015 @ 1:58pm
I love you!
Sarah 09.12.2015 @ 1:48pm
The guys a complete moron
anonymous 09.12.2015 @ 1:38pm
Some one shave that piece of shit hair piece!
Paul Hewitt 09.12.2015 @ 1:37pm
If you did make a beer in his hono(u)r I would recommend making sure it was heavy on qualities that encourage flatulence. That way, every one who drinks it can sound like Trump, trumping.
Joe Lindsay (sr) 09.12.2015 @ 1:36pm
The wall isn't such a bad idea. It might keep the raving lunatic in.
anonymous 09.12.2015 @ 1:17pm
Let's hope that his weave doesn't blow with whatever direction his baseless and populist politics does or it may end up heading up his arse!
Pete H 09.12.2015 @ 12:53pm
Yes - well done. And another vote for "Hello My Name Is Donald"

And don't get me started on his so called golf course, north of Aberdeen .......
andrew w 09.12.2015 @ 12:22pm
Trump is an A-Grade fud
Andy Hawkes 09.12.2015 @ 12:16pm
You need to make a "Hello, my name is Donald" beer - it probably won't sell well as it's obviously made with a syrup and leaves a nasty taste in the mouth, but it could probably also exploit some cheap, foreign ingredients...
Kristian 09.12.2015 @ 11:29am
I'd fall for "Hello My Name is (t)Rump". Probably a scrumptious black feast of tar and gunpowder, much like his agenda.
Finky 09.12.2015 @ 11:21am
LOL
Dave 09.12.2015 @ 11:06am
"The Donald" IPA (Imbecilic Political Asshat) - sounds good? What if he buys all your shares and closes you down? Careful what you wish for. You're fired!
anonymous 09.12.2015 @ 10:59am
Great advice. Hope many other companies send him the same message.
Juha 09.12.2015 @ 10:15am
Points for the Hello My Name Is Donald idea!
Mike Hay 09.12.2015 @ 10:00am
You could name a brew, Flip Your Wig?
Chris Edmunds 09.12.2015 @ 9:58am
Trump IPA, the beer that actually has a bad taste.
pint sized 09.12.2015 @ 9:50am
And Dog bless America. In the UK your surname doesn't mean "to have the upper hand or to be better than...". It means "to evacuate stale gas from one's anus". Suits you sir.
Dan 09.12.2015 @ 9:48am
Hello My Name is Donald needs to happen!
Keith Riel 09.12.2015 @ 9:48am
On the plus side

If somehow this A-hole becomes president, you'll gain a new local patron as my wife and I will leave the country ????.

He holds no moral or ethical values that match how I was raised

Great letter

Cheers
Gayle 09.12.2015 @ 9:44am
Is he getting an invite to the AGM?
Steve 09.12.2015 @ 9:40am
Man's a baffoooooon......
J90 09.12.2015 @ 9:34am
Can I have his birthday beer?
Dean 09.12.2015 @ 9:23am
lol anything to shut him up